Shameless Fangirl.

Do I stay in Arizona and find my own place by myself and struggle, but with a job and new friends that I absolutely love?

Or do I follow Justin to Colorado where my sister-in,law can probably get me a job at Home Depot where they have benefits, 401k, tuition assistance, and they pay at least nine bucks an hour, be in a place I don’t really want to be, leave my new friends just like I left my old ones, and start going to school?

Stability-wise the answer is obvious. That should be the only thing that makes a difference, but then why do I feel so lost? Why can’t I just accept that it would be better for me to make some sacrifices and go for the stability that I need? I can’t help but to feel like my time in Arizona isn’t over. I only have until March 17 to have my decision, my bags packed, and a plan for what to do next.

I wish I could just fast forward to when I’ll be happy again because this is the most confused I’ve ever been and it hurts. And nobody can choose but me. So if I choose and still feel lost and incomplete, there will be nobody to blame except for myself, and how will I deal with that?